Breathe Me In
by onoudint
Summary: A Resolutions fic.


Based around an excerpt from the song Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. I love this song. The story's a little sadder than I intended, but it fits into the episode Resolutions without changing anything, so, what are you going do?

**Breathe Me In**

_Breathe in so deep  
__Breathe me in  
__I'm yours to keep  
__Hold on to your words  
__Cause talk is cheap  
__And remember me tonight  
__When you're asleep_

30 hours. 30 hours. 30 hours. She couldn't think. Didn't move. Didn't speak. After spending literally every moment during the first 6 weeks of being stranded looking for a cure, she didn't even ask how they'd found one. Didn't want to know. Just closed the channel on those words. 30 hours. Abruptly she left the shelter. Needing to get away. Away from what, she wasn't sure. Thoughts whirling, emotions crashing through her, she blindly walked through the trees near their home. No destination in mind, she simply wandered, everything focused internally. 30 hours. Eventually she became aware of her surroundings and held a hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Unthinkingly she had come to the river. She had come to the river almost every day in the last 2 months, so she wasn't surprised to find that her feet had carried her there. The river they'd just been talking about exploring before the call came. 30 hours.

30 hours. He tried to smile at her, but it didn't hide his true feelings. He'd made those known about 6 weeks into their isolation. Then, he'd known he respected her and was attracted to her. He'd known that just weeks after meeting her, nearly 2 years ago. The physical attraction was immediate, the feelings grew a little slower. But he hadn't known he was in love with her until he'd heard those words. 30 hours. He knew the attraction was mutual, even from the beginning, but hadn't pushed it for a couple of reasons. Her fiance and their positions on the ship. She'd started letting him get closer as time dragged on, with their journeys' end so far away. Then - this planet. He'd thought they'd have a lifetime. No rush. So their relationship progressed naturally, slowly as she fought to let go of one hope for another. Now, with two words; he felt hope die. 30 hours.

The light of the day and precious hours passed. She was still sitting on the bank by the river. In control of herself now, after crying for awhile, she analyzed her response to the call. So many emotions provoked by two little words, she almost couldn't name everything she was feeling. But it was important to her to try, so she could control them. Relief. The strain of being the only two people on this planet was starting to get to her. Luckily she had Chakotay but sometimes that wasn't enough. Sometimes it was too much. Joy. She had desperately missed her crew, her ship. She cried for them sometimes, wondering if they were ok. Regret. It was hard to explain the reason for this regret. Some of it was linked to her companion, of course. But it was more and less than that. Here, she was free of the responsibility for so many others lives. She answered to no one, and no one answered to her. Part of her wanted nothing more than to go living with no harder decision than where to plant the tomatoes. Not life and death. Even though she had sought after that responsibility, it was sometimes more than she could handle alone. Loneliness. This man, her companion, her friend had offered her a way to never be alone again. She was just starting to accept that offer. Now, with two words; it was ripped away from her. 30 hours.

He was getting worried. After Kathryn left, he had tried to keep himself busy to dull the pain. It hadn't worked. But it needed to be done, so he had started packing, leaving out whatever they would need for the next day or so. His thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. Memories of their 3 months together, regrets for the lifetime they wouldn't have. He knew without a doubt that she wouldn't let this continue on the ship. He figured she was probably right. But it still hurt. It was amazing how something so simple and new could hurt so much. They weren't lovers. Had never even really kissed. Hand holding, infrequent hugs, a peck on the cheek was all. He was letting her set the pace. It was barely more than friendship. But with the sweet promise of everything he'd ever wanted. Lost in his thoughts and the mind numbing automatic motions of packing he hadn't noticed the sun setting. It was almost full dark before he realized she wasn't back yet. Suddenly he had a need to be with her for as long as they had. 30 hours.

"Kathryn." She turned at the voice she knew so well. The voice she would hear in her dreams. He held out a hand. Reaching up she placed her hand in his, knowing it would probably be the last time she enjoyed this simple pleasure. He helped her up. She stood facing him, lacing their fingers together as she had done many times in the last 6 weeks. She wanted to say something but had no idea what. She wanted to explain, but could see he already knew. She wanted to apologize, but it wasn't her fault things were the way they were. In the end all she said was his name.

"Chakotay." His eyes closed. He heard everything she wanted to say but couldn't. Felt her small hand tremble in his. He had to let her know how he felt one last time, but the words wouldn't come. So he pulled her closer. Dropped her hand and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned into him. Her ear over his heart. Her face turned towards his throat. Her arms around his neck. His breath hitched as emotions literally swelled his heart. He tightened his arms. She let out a sigh. He buried his face in her hair. They breathed. A moment in time they would remember forever. Eventually they parted and walked back to the shelter hand in hand. And dreamed of each other.

Other than names, they hadn't spoken since the call. When the second call came, 30 hours after the first; he broke the silence.

"Ready?"

A long look shared. So much to say and no way to say it. They turned away, breaking the connection.

"Voyager: two to beam up."


End file.
